...a little princess...

She is just the best little girl ever.  She was a very fussy baby, with a cry loud enough to wake the dead (one of her grandmas referred to it as her “foghorn”); shy and all but glued to my side for the first two and a half years of life (I always said I was never worried about anybody taking her--no one would keep her long once she unleashed her trademark howling, which she almost always did when someone suggested that she be sociable and hang out with someone other than mom); but for all her fussiness at the beginning of life, she has certainly made up for it since.

My little girl is 10 years old now, and though she bears a striking resemblance to pictures of my mother-in-law at the same age; in personality she is almost as much my mini-me as if someone had found the pieces of the mold from 25 years earlier and glued them back together.  Sometimes it is a little scary, but more often it is absolutely delightful.

She loves to draw, write, and sew; and can spread a mess across my house twice as fast as her brothers.  Between the crayons, papers, markers, fabric, thread, and scissors in terrible places, it drives my obsessively organized soul a bit wild.  I do think she veers off from my personality slightly in this--in looking at the toys I saved from my childhood, I can see evidence of a very careful kid who could not bear to have things in disarray.  But I remember a few times during the pre-teen and teen years when my room looked as if a tornado hit it...so maybe she hasn’t veered off my path too drastically.

When she was first born, I thrilled to have her; but I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with a little girl.  I had a three year old son at the time, and I was so used to chasing after a little boy--and I had a distinct aversion to the cotton candy sweetness of Disney princess pink.  Why couldn’t companies that produced kids’ clothes and other items make tasteful girly-looking things, in a variety of colors? 

But every sleepless night and deafening scream has been worth it.  She has grown into a sweet little princess--girly enough to enjoy watching Fiddler on the Roof and Phantom of the Opera with me while we do our nails, but still able to bait her own fishhook (even i don’t do fishhooks) and play baseball with the boys.  Growing up around her daddy and brothers has kept her feet on the ground, but at times this little girl who lives at my house seems to have stepped out of one of George MacDonald’s princess stories--stories of princesses who are not only outwardly beautiful but full of honor and courage as well.

She has been my right hand girl this summer.  With her oldest brother often gone to his summer job working on my cousin’s produce farm, the bulk of helping out at home has fallen on her capable little shoulders.  She has learned to help with peas and beans by the bucketful, without undue complaining.  She has devised delightful games for her little brother; games which, according to his behavioral therapist, have been tremendously helpful for him in learning needed social skills that are more difficult for autistic kids than neurotypical children.  She is only 10, but her price is already “far above rubies.”

She also has a mild form of Tourette Syndrome herself, sometimes fighting upper body twitching and vocal tics that, a few years ago, were so severe that she could not do her schoolwork as she could not keep her head still enough to read her books.  They have improved a lot, but still become bothersome when she is tired or nervous about something.

I have sometimes wondered if my little girl will look back on her childhood with happy memories or a feeling of sadness.  Maybe some of both.  It seems that she has had a bit more than her share of adversity for her young years.  But as I watch her character develop, I am so proud of her.  She has learned not to complain unduly; she has learned to be resourceful and make the best of what she has, when things are not ideal.  She has a wonderful spirit and a sparkle in her eyes.  As she plays with her little brother, and other small children among our friends and family, I can see she is a fun and capable babysitter (as long as there is an adult around as well, of course--she is only 10).  She has produced much lovely art and writing too.  I have many cards, pictures, and letters she has written, that I have kept for her to enjoy sometime when she is older.  She also tries her hand at poetry from time to time, and I especially love one poem that she wrote a year or two ago.

I’m just a little kid,
but God made me, so He did.

When I am all grown
I’ll still be his own.

Thank You for making me,
compared to you I’m like a pea!

God You are strong,
and You have never been wrong.

You also have a lot of power,
or else you wouldn’t know the name of every flower.

Thank you God for being there for me,
even though I’m like a pea.

~K.H.

I wish sometimes, that I could smooth the way for my children.  I watch my oldest son struggle with multiple allergies to common substances that require constant vigilance and an ever-present epi-pen.  I watch my daughter endure uncomfortable jerky upper body movements without complaining, except when her back and neck get sore from the motion and her efforts to keep it under control.  I watch my youngest hide under tables in groups of people and try to soothe himself when the sensory overload of daily life sometimes gets overwhelming.  But I also see their endurance, their spirit, and their perseverance develop in a way that it could not have done without the adversity.  The things that I wish they did not have to deal with, are the very things that are cultivating the good character that I know will serve them well as they grow into adulthood and make their own way in life.

Our Father knows what we need.  And He loves these little people--well, not so little anymore, but to me they will always be my “little people” that I love with all my heart--He loves them more than is humanly possible for me to love.  He knows what will turn my daughter from a little girl into a beautiful, courageous lady; he knows what will turn my sons into men of strength, courage and honor.  I am so proud of my kids and I know I can trust His mercies to give them joy in life even in the adversities they may face.

For today, I wanted to spotlight my little princess.  She is just a pretty awesome kid.